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Love is a doctor !

Often I meet people burdened with complicated diseases, immune to drugs. I then try not to minimize their pain, and especially not to "relativize". It's easy in fact that evoke war, world poverty, famine, the suffering of others, "See, you're not so unhappy! " Under an appearance of evidence, this response is ridiculous and even a bit naughty.

For who are we to judge the suffering of others? Even a healthy person and has seemingly "everything to be happy" can feel every night of horrible anguish, despair be invaded in the morning to the point of not being able to get out of bed, suffering from a lack of love, loneliness or, more profoundly, an abyss in his soul that she does not see the bottom. Without knowing why, or the root causes of her illness, she is plagued by suffering and cruelty is to go and tell him that his life is not so hard.
The first thing I try to do is really to show with words, gestures, that I not only understand but even this pain that I feel it too, at least in part.
This feeling comes naturally because that is how we are made. Even before the unknown on television suffering, even in films where yet we know that these are actors ... is tied our throats, our guts twist, we want to do something about the pain.
And the miracle is that this desire already provides relief to those who suffer. Relief and sometimes even joy and healing start. Yes, I do not hesitate to speak of a miracle because this thing is amazing when you think about it, yet it is so familiar to us.
How many times have I seen my children get hurt and really suffering, screaming in a torrent of tears. Their mother comes running, or myself. We wince, we push the "oh" and "ah" before the scraped knee, the child looks at us through her tears, sees that we suffer for him ... and already her screams turn into sobs, her tears dry up ... The pain is not as strong, recovery will begin soon.
It would be naive or pessimistic, to imagine that the thing is not worth also for adults.
It is not for nothing that, when it happens to us misfortune we call people we love. Subconsciously, we know that telling our misfortune can share our pain, in the proper sense of the word "share". We "give" a little pain every person around us so that ours subsides and becomes more bearable.
And relief can go very far: people who have experienced great hardship and who are lucky to have been able to make a book, a documentary or a successful film, thus making the world know their suffering, can trigger both compassion they themselves eventually rejoice in the misfortune that has afflicted but brings them so much warmth.
This is the incredible strength of compassion.
Hence the crucial importance of ensuring express as much as we can our compassion to the suffering people. We have here among us, often without knowing it, a priceless good, a treasure that we can dispense with both hands, without it withdraws us anything, quite the contrary.
Of course, we also have a capacity of imagination that allows us to "shield" against pain. If shield is to think of something else to hide oneself pain that was under the eyes, pretend it did not exist. For example nurses carrying a burn can they speak out of their vacation, the last film, and even laughing.
While this may sound shocking, it must be understood that this apparent indifference is only possible because they pretend to ignore the suffering person. If they were to stop talking and watching the "man of sorrows" in the eye, see his wounds, talk to him, then it would be impossible not to feel in their own flesh part of his suffering.
People who work in hospitals, hospices, firefighters who manage road accidents and soldiers all develop this ability to pretend, to abs-milking (pull themselves out) of reality in some extent.
There is much talk of "sadistic" that allegedly derive pleasure from the pain of others. In reality, this "fun" has nothing to do with true pleasure that you experience such nestled in the arms of a loved one before a beautiful sunset. The pleasure of sadistic is a paradoxical pleasure from the pain he inflicts upon himself by watching others suffer.
Finally, there is the special case of "psychopaths" who make the serial-killers. These are very specific cases of mentally ill, although identified by psychiatrists who lack a natural brain function in exactly the same way that someone may lack vision, speech or memory.
This feature they lack is precisely that of compassion, that is to say, etymologically, the ability to suffer with others. The psychopath is able, as seen in some horrible movies, get a good meal and have fun while frankly just beside him a tortured victim. But this is not normal. This is because he is ill.
We must reassure the fact that exist psychopaths proves nothing about what the other men. Psychopathy is a mental abnormality. It affects only less than 1% of people.
Scientific experiments have shown that 99% of people suffer by seeing someone else suffer. This could be observed through MRI, a way to scan the brain to observe the parts that are activated. It was shown how images of children who suffer, for example, "light" automatically compassion area in the brain of the person who observes, triggering emotional suffering.
Of course, the more we move in any direction, we cross over the masses of people we will never meet again, the more we learn to pretend they are not there and stay focused on our thoughts.
It is a commonplace to deplore the anonymity of big cities, solitude amidst the crowd, but these complaints are child because it is a normal phenomenon. It is normal not to try to be interested in each person when it borders every day thousands of faces. In villages where still is some friendliness, the inhabitants have no more merit than city dwellers. They are no more human, generous and sensitive. This is of course because they are less numerous and often fall back on the same people they have the opportunity to meet, talk, get to know.
This does not stop of course that we should strive to be cheerful, friendly and open in major cities. I find for my hand detestable practice of walking around with headphones stuck in their ears, the other prohibiting any attempt to communicate. Similarly for caps, scarves, hats and even large opaque sunglasses to hide the head or face, which create an atmosphere of indifference or even insurmountable distrust, even with the best will in the world.
But whatever happens, all this does not change our nature. This changes nothing in this extraordinary capacity for compassion we have in us, which is one of the finest manifestations of love.
Make good use of this treasure,
Thank you to Jean-Marc Dupuis

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